I sat quietly this morning pondering what to write for my first blog. A gentle whisper came over me, “you should share of your current experience”. I will open my heart and share what I am experiencing at this moment on my own personal journey and how it is filled with love, compassion and mercy. However, that does not mean there are not moments of challenges that require me to stand in my own power and trust while moving into old fears that surfaced.
As we evolve, we gain wisdom, and learn to be in awareness while having moments of self- reflection. I am sure many of us have said a time or two in our lives, “If I knew then what I do now” I would have responded or handled a situation differently. I have had my own moments of such reflections, and the awareness when a blessing presents itself giving me an opportunity to respond different to something from the past. These past few months, I feel I have been given such an opportunity. I call it a blessing yet it is a double edged sword. I say blessing and double edged sword because my experience is truly one that is requiring me to trust while feeling all the emotions that surface and also because this has to do with my son.
My son moved out a couple of years ago, and in my heart I felt he was not ready and he was going through some of his own life challenges. He was an adult and I wanted to be supportive and trust. All the while, holding space for him and talking to his higher self and trusting there was something he needed to learn on the path he had chosen. As a mom to see my son struggling to learn some valuable lessons can also tug at my heart and bring to surface many emotions.
What I have learned through my awareness, observations, channeled messages and the conversations the two of us have shared is that it all comes back to loving yourself and part of that is setting boundaries. This is where I come in when I shared of the blessing. I have recognized that as I was learning to love myself over the years one of the areas that was not my strength was setting boundaries. I see clearly now, that my son had experienced the same and of course he would as he learned what he saw and not what I said. In not having the ability to set clear boundaries for himself he lost the ability to manage himself as well as his home and he gave his power away to others.
As I have evolved, I have grown to love myself and now know that a huge part of my growth was learning to set boundaries. As I began to set boundaries, my life began to change and for a moment I questioned if I was doing right by me because it was stirring all kinds of emotions I had to release as well as letting go of people in my life. I had to trust and allow some friendships and relationships at many levels to divinely shift verses me staying attached. How those patterns within me came to be are for another blog.
There have been a few challenges and he has been learning to honor me and my space by the boundaries I set. I need to stay consistent in what I communicate and my actions must follow in order to be clear.
As his Mom, I understand we all do the best we can in a given moment with what we know and that is where I was back then. I was not aware of the opportunity being presented at the beginning but the past few months the awareness surfaced and it was crystal clear. Over the past week, I took the time to go within and in the stillness the message was shared, “This is an opportunity to do something different. As you stay in your power, setting your boundaries you are teaching him to learn how to do the same. You are making a shift and clearing an old timeline by creating new.”